Zachary Holifield: Juvenile or Monster...You Be The Judge!

I had big dreams as a little girl.  I wanted to grow up and be the next Thurgood Marshall and moonlight as Maya Angelou mixed with Langston Hughes.  I had the ambition to fight for the rights of others yet had the passion to write and speak from my soul.  I knew that I could do it all, I knew that I could accomplish all my dreams if I would just stay determined and kept my eyes on the prize after-all the sky was the limit and I believed that I could fly.  Then I became the victim of childhood sexual abuse and a violent rape.
Here I am as a child before the age of 5 years old with flashbacks of someone taking advantage of my innocence and convincing me that the knowledge of me telling someone would destroy my family and possibly bring great harm to myself.  Then by the time I am 13 years old a stranger broke into our family home and brutally raped me at knife point and then as he departed my home with my shattered innocence and crushed dreams he threatened to come back and kill my family if he saw the police come to the house. I was devastated.  I thought that I would never be able to breathe again.  My life as a normal child with hopes of a successful adulthood was no merely a nightmare.  Indeed these traumatic events took a drastic toll on my life and because I had to go through years of struggle, heartache, disappointment and rebuilding my life I vow to never let another child of sexual violence suffer as an inhuman, I vow to never let another victim remain silent even if I have to speak in their stead.
This is what we are doing to the child that was violated by Zachary Holifield as supporters flood the courtroom literally condoning his actions and pleading with the judge to try him as a juvenile so that Zachary can life his adult life with no memories of the painful memories he caused to others.  How absurd are we as a people to stand idly by and watch the re-victimization of these children be played out publicly all because Zachary has a promising future.  What about the future of those babies.  Do you not believe that one day they hoped to be more that a fairy tale character or a childhood superhero? For once did we stop and think that maybe these children wanted to grow up and be doctors, lawyers, judges, astronauts, scientists or even the next president but now that they have been preyed upon their lives will eventually take a turn for the worst as they grow older and try to come to grips with the painful memories of their past.  They will begin to wonder was it their fault that Zachary Holifield violated them.  Do they deserve to suffer from the hands of an abuser for the rest of their lives because Zachary left them feeling some type of way.  Will they one day grow up and decide to try and remove the painful memories of Zachary actions by drugs, alcohol or maybe even suicide.
This is the aftermath and grave possibilities that can happen to victims of sexual trauma and because they are children and they look fine now we figure they will grow older and forget it ever happened not realizing that they are causing a great storm that is brewing within their lives.  This storm can cause catastrophic events if we do not get a control on it now.  We have to make that Zachary is properly held accountable for his actions and that his punishment fit the crimes he committed.  The things that Zachary did over the years to those children was not the actions of a juvenile but they were actions of a full fledged grown monster!   Zachary was fully aware that what he did was wrong and inappropriate that is why he hid it and silenced the children by secrecy.  He knew his acts were barbaric and the beast was growing within that is why he could not stop until the child came forward. Zachary was adult enough to violate and I am sure that Zachary is adult enough to accept his punishment.
I too pray for Zachary as it is evident that he has a problem and any of his supporters know that had Zachary had done the same thing to their children that they would be on the opposing side of the courtroom.  My rapist was a juvenile but he grew up to be a serial rapist.  This is Zachary destination if he is not properly punished for his his heinous crimes!

Recognize Your Flying Capabilities

I know it has been awhile since I have actually sat down and been able to blog or empower or even encourage another survivor of sexual trauma.  However as I sit here I am actually in need of encouraging myself...so what do I do?  I go to blogging.  I have a lot on my mind and that in turn reminds me that so many victims are going through so much more as they try to deal with the agony and defeat of the aftermath of sexual trauma. 

I sit her and realize that although I maybe experiencing a little frustration that I can remember the pain that I once endured.  I remember the feeling of hopelessness, distress, pain, alone, distraught and so much more.  Yet I sit here alive and healed and I think you know what...it's all a way of thinking and how I choose to deal with it.  Sexual trauma did not break me and I am pretty sure that the issues I deal with now has no dominion over me as I am sure that nothing was greater at breaking you than sexual assault.  Yet I live because I was able to rise!

I am able to rise because I have to continuously recognize the great power that lies within and that same power lies within  all of us.  We all have the opportunity or choice to rise above our circumstances whether mentally, physically or spiritually.  Therefore I choose to stay above all that comes up against me and I challenge you to do the same.

You are still here and you are still standing.  Please allow your mind to break away from those chains that try to defeat you.  Allow your mind to envision you not only soaring above your situations but to be able to passionately help others learn how to fly.  Remove yourself from the fear that is crippling you and tricking you into thinking that you are handicapped when indeed you are strong and whole and have enough wing beneath your wings to not only allow you to take flight but to encourage to do the same.


Lavinia Speaks

Lavinia in South Africa

This is one of the videos captured of me speaking at one of the many venues in South Africa from March 2011.  It has been 6 years to this date that I have traveled to speak about DNA and to empower sexual assault victims worldwide.  It is truly an honor to be your humble advocate.  Be blessed.